My relationship with the wonderfully awkward, clumsy, goofy boy who lets me play on his Mario emulator, sits on my hair and puts deodorant on his nipples. Here, I have summarised some of the lovely banter between two twenty-somethings, with a penchant for napping, reading FML together and scaring pedestrians with a midget Ford. There will be many references to poo. Please don't be afraid.