About the Blog
My relationship with the wonderfully awkward, clumsy, goofy boy who lets me play on his Mario emulator, sits on my hair and puts deodorant on his nipples.
Here, I have summarised some of the lovely banter between two twenty-somethings, with a penchant for napping, reading FML together and scaring pedestrians with a midget Ford. There will be many references to poo. Please don't be afraid.
Him: So, you're mad at me because I didn't want to have lunch at 11:00am?
Her: Yeah. God damn lunch killer.
Her: So, I won't be seeing you much next month. Exam time is approaching.
Him: Does that mean I should get a sex buddy for that time?
Her: What?
Her: Say something!
Him: A really big shoe.
Her: What?
Her: Do you like dark chocolate?
Him: Yeah.
Her: Cherries? What about cherries?
Him: Yeah, I like cherries.
Her: Okay thank god, I got you this expensive chocolate.
Him: Do you like dark chocolate?
Her: God no.
Him: Good, me neither.
Her: Why haven't you accepted my facebook relationship request?
Him: Do I have to?
Her: Do you not want people to know we're in a relationship?
Him: Excuse me, you're the one who dream-cheated.
Him: You need to stop having sex with other people in your dreams. I can't help but think there's some sort of underlying cause.
Her: Maybe if you sexually satisfied me once in a while...
Him: What!!
Her: IT WAS A JOKE!
Her: I had a sex dream.
Him: Oh yeah?
Her: You weren't in it.
Him: Right.
Her: But your Dad was.
Him: What?
Her: He told me off for having sex with someone else.
Him: You need to stop having sex with other people.
Her: You do realise that it was just a dream right?
6:24 pm, by theawkwardboyfriend
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Him: You can't be mad at me. We're both equally to blame!
Her: I know. I blame you for this.
Him: I see.
Her: I can't blame myself. That's silly.
Her: Will you come with me to go get a wax?
Him: Wait, what? What are you getting waxed?
Her: I think we should see a counselor and do something about this emotional abuse.
Him: Shut up.
Him: I was tricked! That's entrapment.
Her: Of course it is. I'm a woman. You should have known better.
Her: Okay, I can't afford this swimsuit. Tell me I'll look ugly in it.
Him: Okay.
Her: But it's so pretty, and I really want it.
Him: It ain't your style.
Her: Oh.
Him: Everyone will point and laugh at you.
Her: Oh no!
Him: They won't even let you in the pool.
Her: *crying emotional mess*
Him: I love you.
Her: What?
Him: I love you.
Her: What did you do?
Him: Everyone likes you.
Her: It's because I'm like jam. You just can't hate me.
Him: At least you're not marmite.
Her: Yeah, I'd hate to be you.
